Completely Clueless.

voidbat:

body: you are dying of The Heat

me: [removes blanket]

body: never have you been So Frozen

(via 2damnsexxy)

ahagoat:

insertawesome-url-here:

Same energy

(via oleanderblume)

pg-chan:

tinyhipsterboy:

yamitamiko:

me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!

customer walks up

me: sue?

customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni

me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?

customer: oh! no i’m (name)!

the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?

me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it

‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry

sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey

achillesvevo:

me, shouting at the top of my lungs: ICED VENTI VANILLA LATTE FOR JENNIFER

male customer standing right in front of me turns to look

me: jennifer? iced vanilla latte?

customer says nothing, takes the drink, shoves straw in, takes a long sip

customer: i wanted this hot. i ordered a small hot decaf skinny vanilla latte.

me: are you jennifer?

customer: no, i’m daniel

Some people wonder why people fight wars, but I have no trouble imagining reasons for people to just haul off on each other. 

(via oleanderblume)

unfollovving:

butteronthebooty:

unfollovving:

I can’t feel my butt anymore

Why don’t I feel it for you?

(via hotboyproblems)

svvords:

*washes hands with my tears*

(via hotboyproblems)